10 Hilarious Pieces of Business Advice

hillarious tips

Business advice can wind up meaning more than one says:

James Ward Packard bought a horseless carriage from the Winton Company in 1898, and was immediately dissatisfied with it. He sent the builder a list of flaws he found in the design, to which Alexander Winton is said to have replied, “If you’re so smart, Packard, build your own damn car!” Packard came out with his own car the next year, and went on to become a
leading American luxury auto maker. Winton staggered along for a couple decades and went broke.

“A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.” is a key piece of advice attributed to 19th Century author and educator John A. Shedd in his book “Salt from my Attic” (1928).

When you’re considering hiring a consultant, remember the advice, “A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.” Then he might not return the watch.

A man who liked to keep several ventures in play at one time advises, “The trouble with working for a living is that you can’t make any money at it.”

“If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what does an empty desk signify?” Another look at this maxim is, “A clean desk is the sign of a cluttered desk drawer.”

J. Paul Getty go to the heart of the American business executives mind when he said, “I‘d rather have one percent of the efforts of 100 people than 100 percent of my own efforts.”

“A business meeting is a process at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.” A meeting is also the place to remember Will Roger’s great
advice, “Never miss an opportunity to shut up.”

“If we knew what we were doing it wouldn’t be called research,” said Albert Einstein. A corollary is that when you have determined the outcome before you start, what you are doing is not really research.

A biologist was describing a plan to re-introduce woods bison into Interior Alaska, emphasizing how carefully the team was selecting the areas for
re-introduction and how fast he expected the herds to grow. A colleague
reversed the course of the thinking with the question, “What growth population would you characterize as ‘catastrophic success’ in this effort?”

“If we want things to stay as they are, things will have to change,” advises  the character Tancredi in Sicilian author Giuseppe di Lampedusa’s novel “Il


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